Miscarriages: Understanding, Processing, and Finding Hope
Miscarriage is one of the most difficult experiences a mother can walk through. It can feel lonely, confusing, and heartbreaking. For many women, it is more than just a medical diagnosis — it is the loss of a deeply loved and wanted baby.
I know this pain firsthand. I’ve walked through a chemical pregnancy and a blighted ovum miscarriage. Each one carried its own unique heartbreak, questions, and emotional weight. If you’ve experienced miscarriage, I want you to know this: you are not alone, your grief is real, and your baby’s life matters.
In this blog, we’ll walk through the different types of miscarriages, what can cause them, what to do in each scenario, how to begin processing the grief, and how to support someone walking through this loss. My prayer is that you leave encouraged, comforted, and reminded that even in loss, there is hope.
Different Types of Miscarriages
Miscarriage is more common than many realize, affecting about 10–20% of known pregnancies. Here are the most common types:
1. Chemical Pregnancy (50–75% of all miscarriages)
A chemical pregnancy is an early miscarriage that happens before the 5th week of pregnancy. Often, the mom may get a positive pregnancy test but the baby stops developing shortly after implantation.
What it feels like: It can seem like a late period, often with heavier bleeding, cramps, and clotting. But the emotional toll is huge, because you knew there was a baby.
What to do: Usually, the body passes the pregnancy naturally. Follow up with your provider to ensure your hormones return to normal.
2. Blighted Ovum (about 50% of first-trimester miscarriages)
Also called an “anembryonic pregnancy,” this happens when the gestational sac develops but the baby does not.
What it feels like: A mom may experience pregnancy symptoms at first, only to find at an early ultrasound that the sac is empty.
What to do: The body can naturally miscarry and sometimes a D&C (dilation and curettage) or medication may be offered. There are also more natural interventions like massage therapy, acupuncture, etc. Either way, it is still the loss of a baby and deeply painful.
3. Missed Miscarriage (1–5% of pregnancies)
In a missed miscarriage, the baby has stopped developing, but the mom’s body hasn’t recognized the loss yet. There may be no bleeding or cramping.
What it feels like: It’s often discovered at an ultrasound when the baby’s heartbeat can’t be found.
What to do: Options may include waiting for the body to miscarry naturally, taking medication, or having a D&C. There are also more natural interventions like massage therapy, acupuncture, etc.
4. Inevitable Miscarriage
This is when bleeding and cramping have begun, and the cervix has started to dilate, making miscarriage unavoidable.
5. Incomplete Miscarriage
This is when some, but not all, pregnancy tissue has been passed. It may require medication or a procedure to complete the miscarriage. There are also more natural interventions like massage therapy, acupuncture, etc.
6. Recurrent Miscarriage (affecting about 1% of women)
Defined as three or more consecutive miscarriages. This is rare but devastating and may need further testing.
Potential Causes of Miscarriage
Most miscarriages happen because of:
Chromosomal abnormalities in the baby (the most common cause).
Hormonal imbalances (such as low progesterone).
Structural issues in the uterus.
Blood clotting disorders.
Uncontrolled medical conditions like thyroid disease or diabetes.
Infections or immune system issues.
Sometimes, no cause can be found — which can be one of the hardest realities to process.
Processing Miscarriage
The emotional and spiritual journey after miscarriage is just as real as the physical one. Grief is not linear, and healing takes time.
Allow yourself to grieve. Your baby’s life mattered, no matter how short. It’s okay to cry, to feel angry, to feel numb, or to ask God the hard questions.
Honor your baby. Some mothers plant a tree, write a letter, create a keepsake, or name their baby. These small things can bring healing.
Seek support. Whether through your spouse, close friends, a counselor, or a support group, don’t walk through this alone.
Turn to faith. For many, leaning on God in the pain is where true comfort is found. He sees every tear and promises to be near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).
How to Support a Mom Who Has Miscarried
If you know someone who has gone through a miscarriage, your presence matters more than your words.
Acknowledge the baby. Say the baby’s name if you know it, or simply say, “I’m so sorry for the loss of your baby.”
Offer practical help. Bring meals, watch older children, or run errands.
Avoid clichés. Phrases like “It wasn’t meant to be” or “You can try again” can feel minimizing. Instead, say, “I’m here for you” or “I hear you” or “How are you today?”
Remember important dates. Due dates and anniversaries can be painful. A simple message on those days shows you care.
Encouragement for Moms Walking Through Miscarriage
If you are a mom who has miscarried, please hear this: you are still a mother. Your baby’s life has eternal significance, no matter how short it was here on earth.
The grief may never fully leave, but it will soften. Over time, you will carry your baby’s memory in a way that is both tender and strong. And though this loss may feel like it has shattered your heart, healing and hope are still possible.
God is close in your pain. He collects every tear and knows the depth of your sorrow. And He promises that one day, every tear will be wiped away, and we will be reunited with those we love.
Miscarriage is not the end of your motherhood journey — it’s part of it. Your baby’s life has left an imprint on your heart forever and that matters deeply. Whether you’ve experienced one miscarriage or many, your story is important, your grief is valid, and your motherhood is honored.
Anything stated in this blog is not medical advice.
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